Hi it's ME!

So no worries... I didn't die. I have honestly just been really busy... which I am glad to say! This summer has gone by WAY too fast if you ask me!
As per usual as august comes around I can't help but feel stuck between two emotions! Going home to family... and leaving my dear friends in Dallas.

This summer has been a very different summer for us Phillips' but I would like to say a very good one. It has given me a chance to take a deeper look at me... my family... my role as a mother... and strengthen friendships.
I honestly feel like I am coming away from this summer with a stronger more confident me... so really when is that ever a bad thing, right?!

Everyone is packing and leaving Dallas early this summer... most of the salesmen are from Utah and I guess their school starts earlier. It breaks my heart! I hate seeing people go. I hate wondering if we will ever see them again. It is just sucky! So that part of the summer is always a bummer for sure.
But seeing as this is my 4th summer doing this I have had my fair practice of making new friends and saying goodbye to them. I am glad to say that I have learned not to dread saying goodbye to friends as much but instead bracing what memories we have made and shared and what they have taught me.
This summer we really had a great bunch of salesmen... and unlike the other summers there were more married couples... so yay for me! It was a really great office... it really did feel like one big family! And oh how I love that!!!
It has been fun being a mom to the boys in the office... and I really am going to miss that! They for some reason have it in their heads that I am such a great cook... hahaha... Ill take what I can get! I adore them so much!

I must say though this year was strange in the sense that I for once was the older one... BOOO!!! How did this happen? They aren't even that much younger then me. Not gonna lie... I hate feeling old! I am turning 26 this month and let me tell you... I am NOT taking it well! I hate getting older! So it was not very fun to feel like Jarom and I were the older ones in the office. How did I become the older one? I remember our first summer feeling like we were one of the youngest in the office.
Anyways... I could go off on that topic for a loooong time... so we will just move on before I do! ha
I have been very blessed (yes I think that is the most appropriate word to use) to have spent my summer with a few very choice women. I don't know if they realize just how much I have looked up to them... but the conversations we have had during this summer have truly been inspirational and life changing for me. You know those moments when someone says something and a light bulb just goes off in your head?!... well lets just say I'm surprised that my light bulb didn't burn out! It was just brilliant! I feel like most of the huge things that have been on my mind this past year have been brought to light and have been given some answers. I can't even explain it!
I have felt very much empowered by these women.
It really does amaze me how easily us women in the world are taught to hate on ourselves... and our bodies. It breaks my heart really! We are just too hard on ourselves. If we could just take the time to look around and lift those wonderful women around us instead of focusing on our imperfections... what a strong and beautiful gender we would be!
I have a friend back at home who has very much inspired me to take a step back and see who I really am and to embrace it love it! Oh how I just adore and love my friends! Each and everyone of you has a very special place in my heart!

I have decided this summer that I want to be that girl that people love to be around. You know the kind of girl I'm talking about... the one who just makes you smile and feel amazing about yourself... because you know she is being genuine and real. I want to be that girl that you know doesn't talk behind your back... or says one thing and then another depending on who she is with. I want people to know they can trust me completely! That is what I have decided to dedicate the rest of my life doing... becoming such a woman!
One of these dear women shared something with me this summer that I just adore! I want to live my life in accordance to this... and I encourage you all to do the same!
"Everyone wants to feel that you hear what they have to say... and that what they are saying, matters".
How awesome is that hey!? Soooo true! You can't read that and not agree!
I can truthfully say that I do have a few choice friends in my life who make me feel that way. I know that they hear what it is I am trying to say... and that what I am saying matters. For that I am honestly very blessed!
Being a mother has been such a trial and blessing. It has brought out so much in me... some good and some not so good. It has taught me how selfish I am... and it has given me a chance to become a better stronger woman and person. Vienna truly is the best thing I have ever done. The love I have for that lil girl is so intense and beautiful! The more time I spend with her and watch her grow, the more I believe that we aren't just given any baby... that these lil miracles are strategically placed in our lives. Vienna needed to come to us. I needed her and I know she needed me. How awesome is that?! She honestly is the coolest girl I know. And I am so excited to watch her grow up. She has personality traits that I admire so much and secretly wish I had myself. I guess we both can teach each other some things along the way!
Oh summer... how I adore you! Maybe it is because my birthday is at the end of august... which is also the time we start packing up and heading back home... but I feel like it is the time where I put the past winter (sept to april... we live in canada let's be real!) into perspective and prepare to take on a new chapter.
Yes summer is an emotional roller coaster... but every year I come away feeling stronger and a better person!
This summer in particular has allowed me to strengthen a specific relationship and allow it to mature into a better one. For that this, summer was well worth it. It gave us well needed time to rebuild our friendship and to be there for each other and to lean on one another. I have missed her in my life and look forward to a better more strong relationship this fall. I needed her this summer... and I am so grateful that we had that time together.

Oh summer... why do you have to end so quickly?! It breaks my heart! Yes I am very excited to see our family at home... but I hate leaving people behind... not knowing if we will ever see each other again.
Dallas you have always been so good to my family. I wish I knew if we were coming back to you next summer... I guess we will have to wait and see. Jarom is going to be done school... and this job was only to put us through school... so ya... I feel a lil lost about what is to happen next summer. Summer sales is all we have known in our marriage. It was always a constant. I never thought we would actually come to the day when we were to move on to the next chapter in our lives without dallas... hmmm we shall see. There might just yet be a need for one more summer... and to be honest, I'm very ok with that!
I guess I still have one more month... but august always seems to fly by. So maybe for my birthday... if anyone could some how find a way to make august slow down... I don't think any present could match that! Thanks!
Well... thanks for everything so far Dallas... I hope that this last month still has some amazing memories still to come!
Peace out!
Love, Nads